If you or someone you love is navigating grief during the Jewish summer fasts, please know that help is close at hand. Our team at Morse-Bayliss Funeral Home honors every tradition with care and respect.
The Three Weeks—A Season of Collective Memory
The period between 17 Tammuz (Sunday, July 13, 2025) and Tisha B’Av (Saturday night–Sunday, August 2-3, 2025) marks the darkest chapter of the Jewish calendar. Known as Bein HaMetzarim—literally, “between the straits”—these 21 days recall the breaching of Jerusalem’s walls and the destruction of both Temples. Traditional mourning practices intensify as the fasts approach, echoing millennia-old memories of loss.
Key Takeaways
- The Three Weeks begin with a sunrise-to-nightfall fast on 17 Tammuz.
- Customs of restraint—no weddings, haircuts, or live music—gradually deepen.
- Tisha B’Av culminates the season with a 25-hour fast and the chanting of Eicha (Lamentations).
Historical Roots and Modern Meaning
What Happened on 17 Tammuz?
Ancient texts describe five calamities on this date, including the shattering of the Tablets of the Law and the Romans breaching Jerusalem’s defenses. For today’s families, it’s a gateway into communal mourning—an opportunity to pause and reflect on brokenness in the world and in our own hearts.
Practical Tip: If you’re hosting a shiva or unveiling during July, consider scheduling after nightfall to respect those who may be fasting. Our Jewish Funeral Traditions Guide explains how timing affects ritual planning.
The Nine Days
From the first of Av (Tuesday, July 29, 2025) onward, restrictions tighten: no meat or wine (except on Shabbat), no joyous music, and no bathing for pleasure. Many families clean gravestones during this window, transforming sadness into acts of devotion.
Tisha B’Av: The Fast of Tears
Beginning at sunset on Saturday, August 2, mourners sit on low stools, dim the lights, and listen to the haunting melody of Eicha. Five prohibitions—eating, drinking, bathing, anointing, and marital intimacy—mirror the austerity of Yom Kippur. Yet by late afternoon on Sunday, hope returns: tradition promises future consolation and rebuilding.
Caring for Loved Ones During the Three Weeks
- Offer Practical Relief
- Deliver frozen dairy meals for the Nine Days.
- Lend a fan to someone avoiding recreational swimming.
- Record and share synagogue livestreams for the homebound.
- Create Space for Reflection
A simple memorial corner—a framed photo, candle, and favorite Psalms—can transform a kitchen table into a sacred place. Our Pre-Planning page includes worksheets to record cherished readings and melodies ahead of time. - Respect Customary Limits
Avoid loud parties or wedding-style playlists when Jewish guests may be observing communal mourning. A quiet walk along the Merrimack River often feels more supportive than an evening barbecue. - Use Ritual to Channel Grief
- Read a chapter of Eicha together.
- Write private “Lamentations” describing personal losses, then tuck the pages into a journal.
- Donate to a rebuilding charity in Israel to symbolize future hope.
Jewish Perspective on Mourning Within Mourning
On Tisha B’Av itself, shiva is paused; private grief is folded into national grief. After the fast, personal mourning resumes. If you plan a funeral during this window, consult a rabbi—certain rites shift if the burial falls after midday on Tisha B’Av.
FAQs About the Three Weeks and Tisha B’Av
- Q: Can a funeral be held on Tisha B’Av?
- A: Yes, but only after midday, and with minimal eulogies. Our directors coordinate closely with local rabbinic authorities to meet halachic requirements.
- Q: May I visit a loved one’s grave during the Nine Days?
- A: Absolutely. Placing stones or saying Psalms is encouraged, provided you maintain the somber tone of the season.
- Q: Do Reform or secular Jews observe these restrictions?
- A: Practices vary widely. Some adopt the fasts symbolically; others keep full traditional customs. Always ask the family’s preference before planning music or refreshments.
- Q: How do I talk to children about the destruction of the Temples?
- A: Stress resilience: while we remember sorrow, Judaism also anticipates rebuilding. Reading age-appropriate stories like “A Sage, a Scholar, and the Shattered Walls” can help.
- Q: Where can I find cost information for a July unveiling or an August funeral?
- A: Our General Price List offers transparent options. Call us any time for guidance on specific arrangements.
CTA: Need help? Call Morse-Bayliss Funeral Home 24/7 at 978-458-6841.